Consequence of fornication pregnancy

[Daniel22]

I’ve recently experienced the full effect of the devil and the result of sinful ways, but I’m afraid I’m in too deep. Years ago I met a girl through another friend and started seeing her. I was raised by Christian parents so I know what’s right from wrong so I’m not making excuses but I found it difficult to meet a woman that I believe was the right one for me, a lot of this is based on the world and life I was exposed myself to. 
When I first met the girl something felt off about her. She was confident and very interested in me in an odd way. I’ve been the shy type of guy for most of my life and she was able to get me to open up to her. as time has gone on I drifted away into the world and even though I pray everyday, sinning slowly became the norm for me. The woman I met was slowly able to get into my head and slowly as she did, I began to fall for her charm and slowly she had a hold over me, I remember having intercourse with her for the first time and crying after it because i felt wrong in my spirit. But this wasn’t the end, over a few years I kept seeing her on and off and I honestly don’t know how it’s happened when I look back at it. I feel as though I was under some kinda spell, then I’d wake up from the spell but then I go through depression quite a lot, and it would be in these dark times that I would be drawn back into her web, the same patterned carried on for a few years. I’d delete her number and then I’d say I’m never seeing her again but then I’d somehow end up seeing her then I’d stay away for another 6 months. It wasn’t till recently I decided that I’ve met someone I believe is right for me by God, even though I’d known this person for a while I wasn’t quite sure  as time has gone on I’ve started to see that she is meant for me. 
I finally decided to cut my ties from this other girl who’s web I was in and then she tells me she’s pregnant. It almost felt like a dream because unlike the other times when I decided it was time to stop seeing her, I was fully committed to removing her from my life and settling down and getting married with the one I love. And it almost felt as though she knew I was gone for good so she sees this as a means of developing a hold on her. Now I know I’ve sinned, I know the word of God well enough to know I shouldn’t have been fornicating in the first place, but I also feel as though she had an unexplainable demonic kinda hold over me which I find hard to explain but when you feel it you feel it. I’ve been to church a few times and have had some deliverance prayers to cut of soul ties and unwanted bonds and things along these lines, and everyday I pray about this situation but I really just wanted some advice. 
as far as the physical goes the bond is completely broken. theirs not a thing in the world that would take me back there again. I’ve woken up and realised what it is for what it is. But this girl is not someone I feel I’m mentally strong enough to cope with for the rest of my life if she is indeed to have my child If indeed it does happen to be mine. I might sound foolish but im really not as foolish as I sound, which is what makes this harder to beat, its like knowing a trap, seeing it but not being able to control yourself from walking into it, and then now your in it you’re asking yourself how could you be so daft, it’s unthinkable, if somebody else was to tell me this happend to them looking at the facts involved I’d call them an idiot. depression is just a terrible thing and can take you to places that when you look back you question how you could scoop so low. I protected myself most times I did see her and she said she Assured me she was On contraception. an accident happened in one of the times I last saw her which is why her claim could be true. She is a girl that gets around quite a lot and could also be lying but she also might be telling the truth. I’ve prayed to God for forgiveness and it’s a sin I’d never find myself committing again and in a way this has brought me close to God again in a way I’ve never been for a long time. But I just wanted to know if it’s wrong to pray to God to not make her the mother of my child, but at the same time I don’t want to feel like im sinning with prayer and make things worst. This girl really is a big problem and theirs more to her than I can say on here without being negative but she’s not great news all round, and I’m certain she saw a prey and pounced and now even her tone and how she speaks has completely changed. Like a person that’s had a mission all along and now they’ve hit their target.  A child is for life, am I wrong as a Christian in praying against any bonds with her or praying against her pregnancy if it is indeed mine, Not saying I’m trying to escape the consequence of my sin but I just feel this will be a complete nightmare with the character I am. Haven’t been able to get a good night sleep in weeks, just been praying a lot and fasting but I once heard a message saying pray that you don’t pray when it’s too late and i feel as though the signals from God was there for me to listen too but I turned a blind eye to it and now I’m on the verge of hell. I know they say theirs always a positive but with this one here ive really bitten of more than I can chew. I look back and think what spirit could possess a man with wisdom to make such daft decisions. Thank you looking foward to feedback. God bless

[Repose]

People can be tricky. They twist their faces, avert their eyes just so. A woman doing this to a man? I'm sure most men have been there, with a woman trying to be tempting or aggressive. As it is with temptations, there's always that small pull, that little voice that urges you onwards - we all make mistakes, brother. I can even understand returning. When you feel down, it's like this feeling of unease, like you're standing on the edge of a steep cliff. Your blood within you writhes and itches, and you'd do anything and I mean ANYTHING, to try and get rid of it even for a little while, for any small or temporary comfort. That's why we have a comforter, though - If you feel the urge again, either for this or any other temptation, pray. Ask God for help. The comfort lasts longer, to boot.

Then, I must ask... Have you forgiven this woman? Do you think you could? It sounds to me like she's still lingering in your mind, when you describe her as a trap, like you feel you might fall for her again. This is another area where prayer, asking God for the will to forgive her, could help. Try to think on her for a minute, to understand her side of it. Assess her, yourself, and the situation honestly. I would think, when you no longer think of her negatively and have forgiven her, then you would have little to nothing to fear from her.

Finally, the key to any good relationship is open and honest communication. Convey to her that you wish to see if this child is truly yours, not out of a distrust of her, but more out of self-assurance. Even if it isn't yours, you can still wish her well. I don't really advocate for shotgun weddings, either; the way this girl sounds, I'd reckon it would only end poorly. Still, a kid is hardly so terrible; if the child is yours, then why not rejoice? I even know a guy who found out his daughter isn't actually his, and yet he still visits her and loves her dearly. How much more so when it's actual blood, when the child is yours? It is a beautiful thing, and running away from your child (if it is yours) would harm both you and the kid.

[Daniel22]

17 minutes ago, Repose said:

People can be tricky. They twist their faces, avert their eyes just so. A woman doing this to a man? I'm sure most men have been there, with a woman trying to be tempting or aggressive. As it is with temptations, there's always that small pull, that little voice that urges you onwards - we all make mistakes, brother. I can even understand returning. When you feel down, it's like this feeling of unease, like you're standing on the edge of a steep cliff. Your blood within you writhes and itches, and you'd do anything and I mean ANYTHING, to try and get rid of it even for a little while, for any small or temporary comfort. That's why we have a comforter, though - If you feel the urge again, either for this or any other temptation, pray. Ask God for help. The comfort lasts longer, to boot.

Then, I must ask... Have you forgiven this woman? Do you think you could? It sounds to me like she's still lingering in your mind, when you describe her as a trap, like you feel you might fall for her again. This is another area where prayer, asking God for the will to forgive her, could help. Try to think on her for a minute, to understand her side of it. Assess her, yourself, and the situation honestly. I would think, when you no longer think of her negatively and have forgiven her, then you would have little to nothing to fear from her.

Finally, the key to any good relationship is open and honest communication. Convey to her that you wish to see if this child is truly yours, not out of a distrust of her, but more out of self-assurance. Even if it isn't yours, you can still wish her well. I don't really advocate for shotgun weddings, either; the way this girl sounds, I'd reckon it would only end poorly. Still, a kid is hardly so terrible; if the child is yours, then why not rejoice? I even know a guy who found out his daughter isn't actually his, and yet he still visits her and loves her dearly. How much more so when it's actual blood, when the child is yours? It is a beautiful thing, and running away from your child (if it is yours) would harm both you and the kid.

To be honest I have forgiven her deep down, it’s more my fault than hers for going to her in the first place but at the same time the thought of raising a child with her worries me deeply. I feel for the child, I feel it’s going to be a battle but I’ll keep praying and whatever way it goes I’ll stay as close to God as I can and things would only get better. Thanks for the advice it’s really appreciated

[Neighbor]

Perhaps  prayer for this child is my own best reaction.

Seems like the child has caught a very hard break even before it visits this world. Sired by an irresponsible male coupling up with an irresponsible woman. Poor kid.

Hopefully there is a responsible loving grandparent somewhere in the mix because if the child is not adopted out that is it's one good hope for starting out life with some love and proper care.

The sire now has a heavy financial  responsibility to this child.  The sire needs to get busy making money! Take two or three jobs, get over it's own "feelings", and never ever blame the  women again.

May God protect this child, Amen. 

 

[Heleadethme]

There are evil spirits involved in seduction, and the devil does for sure target believers and the children of believers and lay traps and snares.  There is also witchcraft (unconsciously done) as well as spirits of manipulation and control which affect people in very real ways....and the devil will prey on the areas where we are most vulnerable.  Though ultimately we are the only ones who can take responsibility for the traps we step into....and repentance is key.  Sin and disobedience does have consequences and sometimes they are life-long for those who are faithful to follow Jesus (sometimes it's through our very mistakes that we learn to fear the Lord)...though we can take heart that even those consequences the Lord can use for the spiritual good of those who love Him.  And having realized your area of weakness is a first and important step in overcoming it.

But I'm sure you have thought to get a paternity test done to be sure the child is yours before undertaking for its support etc, and I would encourage you to do that......especially since you know you weren't her only partner.  This gal might still be just trying to manipulate you through a pregnancy that is not even yours.  By all means, pray for mercy.

 

[Daniel22]

6 hours ago, Heleadethme said:

There are evil spirits involved in seduction, and the devil does for sure target believers and the children of believers and lay traps and snares.  There is also witchcraft (unconsciously done) as well as spirits of manipulation and control which affect people in very real ways....and the devil will prey on the areas where we are most vulnerable.  Though ultimately we are the only ones who can take responsibility for the traps we step into....and repentance is key.  Sin and disobedience does have consequences and sometimes they are life-long for those who are faithful to follow Jesus (sometimes it's through our very mistakes that we learn to fear the Lord)...though we can take heart that even those consequences the Lord can use for the spiritual good of those who love Him.  And having realized your area of weakness is a first and important step in overcoming it.

But I'm sure you have thought to get a paternity test done to be sure the child is yours before undertaking for its support etc, and I would encourage you to do that......especially since you know you weren't her only partner.  This gal might still be just trying to manipulate you through a pregnancy that is not even yours.  By all means, pray for mercy.

 

Thanks for your advice it’s much appreciated. I Will be sure to follow through with these steps. God bless you

[Daniel22]

7 hours ago, Neighbor said:

Perhaps  prayer for this child is my own best reaction.

Seems like the child has caught a very hard break even before it visits this world. Sired by an irresponsible male coupling up with an irresponsible woman. Poor kid.

Hopefully there is a responsible loving grandparent somewhere in the mix because if the child is not adopted out that is it's one good hope for starting out life with some love and proper care.

The sire now has a heavy financial  responsibility to this child.  The sire needs to get busy making money! Take two or three jobs, get over it's own "feelings", and never ever blame the  women again.

May God protect this child, Amen. 

 

It’s not about responsibility. The child is not the problem so much it’s the individual, it’s hard to paint a good picture but it will be a battle raising a child with her is the main fear I have. Finance is not a worry and I’m Not blaming her but I got played. She saw a kind person and like a sucker I went in and she took her chance. Her tone everything changed soon as she told me she was pregnant, it almost felt like she had a mission and completed it. She told numerous lies about being on contraception, she waiting 12 weeks to tell me she was pregnant too. It only all added up after. I’m not saying I’m guilty free in anyway, but I feel as though she will try to use the child to control me in a way and that is my long term fear and also for the child itself, especially in a world where women get all the benefits of the doubt, you don’t get to win without putting up a fight, you don’t get custody easily, she could make up lies if I didn’t do as she pleased, and I’m certain I’m never going near her again sexually but I have a feeling she thinks this is will be the key to bringing me and her together. I cant expect you to fully grasp it because I’m the person that’s in it and know all the key factors. It’s a terrible situation to be in but you only realise things when it’s too late sometimes.

Edited December 27, 2019 by Daniel22
Correction

[missmuffet]

It takes two people to create a child. So neither of you can say you are innocent. Their are consequences to sin and unfortunately the child is the innocent one in this. Do not marry her if you do not love her. You will have child support. 

[ReneeIW]

I didn’t read the replies but just wanted to say it sounds like you used a girl you didn’t like for sex and she may or may not be pregnant. You can’t pray a pregnancy away. The end 

[Jayne]

1.   Get a paternity test.

2.  If it is yours, do NOT marry this woman.  

3.  Agree to financially support this child until they are 18 - 21.  That's going to take a lot of money.  

4.  Agree to have an arrangement where you share in the raising of the child.  Your child support payments should guarantee that.

5.  STOP blaming this woman for her share of the mess and down playing your own responsibility.  That is what you are doing.  I've read the whole thread carefully.  You claim that she lied about birth control.  Well, you should have been protecting YOURSELF anyway.  This was not a woman that you were in a relationship with or married to or loved.  How people today have sex with other people that they are just lusting after and NOT use protection is beyond my scope of understanding.  It's a wonder of wonders that you do not have an STD.  Stop blaming her.  She was using you and you were using her.  She was not using birth control and you were not using a condom.  You both made the mess.  Man up to your end of it.

6.  Again - get a paternity test and do not marry her, but help raise and financially support this child.  He/she MUST KNOW that you care about him/her even though you didn't marry the mother.

7.  It ain't about you any more, brother.  It just is not.

8.  You CAN make this into the best case for this child, if it is yours.  Just do it.

Edited December 28, 2019 by Jayne