Searching for SIGNIFICANCE

[Sister19656428]

HOWEVER I'VE TRIED FIXING ME FOR YRS NOTHING OR NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME RISE ABOVE GOING BACK TO A HORRIBLE LIFE THAT I YEARN FOR SO BAD, YET CONTINUE TO SLIP BACK IN TO SATANS SNEAR! I'M SICK OF IT. HE'S A LIAR AND HAS HURT ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN WHICH HAS LEAD TO THE MOST PRECIOUS THINGS TO ME IN THE WORLD GETTING HURT! I NOW FACE COURT THIS FRIDAY! THEY ARE WANTING TO TERMINATE MY RIGHTS. WHICH TO ME IS A VERY DISTRUCTIVE OUTCOME. I'VE GONE DOWN A WRONG PATH THEN WAS STUCK IN GUILT AFTER LETTING MY PRECIOUS DOWN, TRIED TO DO IT ALONE ,TO ALONEY SLIP DOWN AGAIN LATER.DUE TO ONLY GETTING TO SEE HIM SOMETIMES I GUESS DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND NOW HOW IVE GOTTEN THIS FAR INTO THIS DISTRUCTIVE PATTERN. I KNOW I WAS MEANT FOR MUCH MORE. (MORE) THAN THAT I KNOW THAT (THEY) (MY PRECIOUS) DESERVE MUCH MORE. AND THEY DERSERVE IT FROM ME AND THEIR FATHERS. I'M WILLING TO DO IT AND HAVE ATTEMPPTED OR MADE ATTEMPTS TO DO. SOME HOW WHICH COMING FROM A MOTHER (IF YOU CAN CALL ME THAT) DONT KNOW HOW IT COULD HAVE EVEN BEEN A THOUGHT TO DO ANYTHING BUT BE INRICHED IN (MY PRECIOUS)'S LIFE COME TO PASS EVEN IF HE WASN'T AT A HOME WITH HIM. HOWEVER I WAS STILL AND AM STILL BROKEN. (BUT WILLING) TO DO THE ONLY RIGHT THING WHICH IS TO REACH OUT TRY TO WIPE MY SELF OFF AND PRAY I CAN BE WHAT GOD CALLED ME TO BE OFCOURSE FOR ME BUT TO (MY PRECIOUS)  AND GOD! (MY LORD) OUR LORD! I NEVER WANT TO FALL SHORT ANY DAY! MY INNER MOST WANT OUTTA LIFE IS TO BE WHO IM SUPPOSED TO OR MEANT TO BE FOR THEM TO REACH FOR CHRIST. NOT ONLY REACH HIM BUT HELP OTHERS ON THEIR PATH. ITS THEIR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO BE WITH ME AND THEIR DADS, AND YES IVE FALLEN AND SCARED TO DEATH IF IVE FALLEN SO MANY TIMES WHAT MAY BE DIFFERENT NOW. BUT I ALSO KNOW IF I CANT OR DONT GET TO BE MOMMY. I DONT KNOW IF I WILL MAKE ANOTHER DAY. THEY WILL MAKE IT IM SURE BUT ITS JUST NOT FAIR TO THEM. THEY ALREADY KNOW ME AS MOMMY AND WILL BE JUST AS BROKEN AS I.  

I GUESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM ASKING OUT OF THE SITE IN GENERAL  I JUST KNOW THAT I HAVE HAD MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHRIST WHICH AT TIMES WAS SO ENCOMPASSING AND AND FULLFILLING THAT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE BIGGER THAN US THAT HAS ALL POWER AND IS A GOD OF COMPLETION WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE AND STAY THERE SO IM ASKING FOR IDK MAYBE LADIES THAT KNOW AND SERVE THAT GOD TO PRAY MAYBE AND TEXT ME MAYBE AT A FURTHER MESSAGE THAT HAS INFO. AND GUIDE ME TO HEALING. 

[BeauJangles]

12 minutes ago, Sister19656428 said:

 

I GUESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM ASKING OUT OF THE SITE IN GENERAL  I JUST KNOW THAT I HAVE HAD MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHRIST WHICH AT TIMES WAS SO ENCOMPASSING AND AND FULLFILLING THAT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE BIGGER THAN US THAT HAS ALL POWER AND IS A GOD OF COMPLETION WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE AND STAY THERE SO IM ASKING FOR IDK MAYBE LADIES THAT KNOW AND SERVE THAT GOD TO PRAY MAYBE AND TEXT ME MAYBE AT A FURTHER MESSAGE THAT HAS INFO. AND GUIDE ME TO HEALING. 

Dear Sister, 

I read your entire post here, but thought this last portion pretty much sums it up. Indeed, allow the women at Worthy to minister to your needs at this time. And know that I'm also praying in intercession for you as well. May God bless abundantly. 

Shalom,

David/BeauJangles 

 

[Sister19656428]

Thank you!

[Debp]

I would start to take things one day at a time with the Lord's help.   Keep things simple.   Pray, read the Bible, find a nice church with loving, supportive Christians.   Day by day... remember God will get you through the trials.

[Marilyn C]

6 hours ago, Sister19656428 said:

HOWEVER I'VE TRIED FIXING ME FOR YRS NOTHING OR NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME RISE ABOVE GOING BACK TO A HORRIBLE LIFE THAT I YEARN FOR SO BAD,...

I GUESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM ASKING OUT OF THE SITE IN GENERAL  I JUST KNOW THAT I HAVE HAD MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHRIST WHICH AT TIMES WAS SO ENCOMPASSING AND AND FULLFILLING THAT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE BIGGER THAN US THAT HAS ALL POWER AND IS A GOD OF COMPLETION WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE AND STAY THERE SO IM ASKING FOR IDK MAYBE LADIES THAT KNOW AND SERVE THAT GOD TO PRAY MAYBE AND TEXT ME MAYBE AT A FURTHER MESSAGE THAT HAS INFO. AND GUIDE ME TO HEALING. 

Hi Sister,

Yes we have all gone astray, all to our own ways. I so feel for you, yet know, as you do that it is only the Lord who can help you.

First you have to really lay everything before the Lord and give it all to Him. Don`t hold back, thinking I still want this or that. When the Lord has your whole heart then He can guide you a step at a time through the troubles. Humble yourself and learn to listen to that quiet inner voice. You will be guided and begin to, not only know what is the right thing to do, but as you ask for strength, you will be able to overcome.

Praying, Marilyn.

[Tzephanyahu]

10 hours ago, Sister19656428 said:

YET CONTINUE TO SLIP BACK IN TO SATANS SNEAR! I'M SICK OF IT.

Shalom Sister,

I'm saddened to hear your situation. Sending you a virtual hug.

Excuse me for keep my reply brief here. It doesn't reflect my lack of feeling, but rather, why write more than I should?:

Have you been baptised by the Holy Spirit? If not, seek this above all things! Seek it, search it and never stop until it happens for you.

Understanding the Gospel and the Bible is good and is possible to do, in part, without the baptism of the Holy Spirit. In fact, in the book of Acts it details about great teachers and leaders of the early church who hadn't heard of the baptism of the Holy Spirit until Paul explained it to them. So maybe you are also in this place?

Fighting this life on our own power and trying to obey Yahweh, without His Spirit, is a very tough task and not truly achievable. So seek it above everything else! Satan will lose his power, you will find joy, peace, wisdom and understanding for all things and in all things.  Seek it above everything else!

Love & Shalom 

[Who me]

10 hours ago, Sister19656428 said:

TRIED TO DO IT ALONE

10 hours ago, Sister19656428 said:

TO TERMINATE MY RIGHTS.

I am sorry that you are so distressed.

From your post you are in legal trouble and it looks like you will lose the custody of your child.

 

All I can suggest is that you join a church where the members will support, encourage and discipline you. So you can show to the authorities that you are living a life where you are in full time employment, not abusing drugs etc and that you are not only a fit person to look after a child but can support a child.

 

Please remember this is not a short term fix. This is life changing.

The authorities will give you the opertunity to show that you have changed. But you have to change, enrol in the various courses, cut your friends offwho encourage drug use etc.

Jesus said if your hand causes you to sin cut it off.

You have to be drastic it cutting All links to your old life.

[Neighbor]

Praying that the court will see the best place for these young children  of different fathers  by you. Praying there are solid families that will be able and willing to help them and you. Amen.

[Not me]

21 hours ago, Sister19656428 said:

HOWEVER I'VE TRIED FIXING ME FOR YRS NOTHING OR NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME RISE ABOVE GOING BACK TO A HORRIBLE LIFE THAT I YEARN FOR SO BAD, YET CONTINUE TO SLIP BACK IN TO SATANS SNEAR! I'M SICK OF IT. HE'S A LIAR AND HAS HURT ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN WHICH HAS LEAD TO THE MOST PRECIOUS THINGS TO ME IN THE WORLD GETTING HURT! I NOW FACE COURT THIS FRIDAY! THEY ARE WANTING TO TERMINATE MY RIGHTS. WHICH TO ME IS A VERY DISTRUCTIVE OUTCOME. I'VE GONE DOWN A WRONG PATH THEN WAS STUCK IN GUILT AFTER LETTING MY PRECIOUS DOWN, TRIED TO DO IT ALONE ,TO ALONEY SLIP DOWN AGAIN LATER.DUE TO ONLY GETTING TO SEE HIM SOMETIMES I GUESS DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND NOW HOW IVE GOTTEN THIS FAR INTO THIS DISTRUCTIVE PATTERN. I KNOW I WAS MEANT FOR MUCH MORE. (MORE) THAN THAT I KNOW THAT (THEY) (MY PRECIOUS) DESERVE MUCH MORE. AND THEY DERSERVE IT FROM ME AND THEIR FATHERS. I'M WILLING TO DO IT AND HAVE ATTEMPPTED OR MADE ATTEMPTS TO DO. SOME HOW WHICH COMING FROM A MOTHER (IF YOU CAN CALL ME THAT) DONT KNOW HOW IT COULD HAVE EVEN BEEN A THOUGHT TO DO ANYTHING BUT BE INRICHED IN (MY PRECIOUS)'S LIFE COME TO PASS EVEN IF HE WASN'T AT A HOME WITH HIM. HOWEVER I WAS STILL AND AM STILL BROKEN. (BUT WILLING) TO DO THE ONLY RIGHT THING WHICH IS TO REACH OUT TRY TO WIPE MY SELF OFF AND PRAY I CAN BE WHAT GOD CALLED ME TO BE OFCOURSE FOR ME BUT TO (MY PRECIOUS)  AND GOD! (MY LORD) OUR LORD! I NEVER WANT TO FALL SHORT ANY DAY! MY INNER MOST WANT OUTTA LIFE IS TO BE WHO IM SUPPOSED TO OR MEANT TO BE FOR THEM TO REACH FOR CHRIST. NOT ONLY REACH HIM BUT HELP OTHERS ON THEIR PATH. ITS THEIR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO BE WITH ME AND THEIR DADS, AND YES IVE FALLEN AND SCARED TO DEATH IF IVE FALLEN SO MANY TIMES WHAT MAY BE DIFFERENT NOW. BUT I ALSO KNOW IF I CANT OR DONT GET TO BE MOMMY. I DONT KNOW IF I WILL MAKE ANOTHER DAY. THEY WILL MAKE IT IM SURE BUT ITS JUST NOT FAIR TO THEM. THEY ALREADY KNOW ME AS MOMMY AND WILL BE JUST AS BROKEN AS I.  

I GUESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM ASKING OUT OF THE SITE IN GENERAL  I JUST KNOW THAT I HAVE HAD MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHRIST WHICH AT TIMES WAS SO ENCOMPASSING AND AND FULLFILLING THAT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE BIGGER THAN US THAT HAS ALL POWER AND IS A GOD OF COMPLETION WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE AND STAY THERE SO IM ASKING FOR IDK MAYBE LADIES THAT KNOW AND SERVE THAT GOD TO PRAY MAYBE AND TEXT ME MAYBE AT A FURTHER MESSAGE THAT HAS INFO. AND GUIDE ME TO HEALING. 

Hello, if I may be so bold, (please forgive if not welcome). 

 You are very correct, you are meant for more and much more. 

I can not speak to your legal troubles. For scripture says,

“whatsoever a man sows that, that man shall reap.”

Whatever tree a person plants, will produce fruit that is natural to it, be that fruit good or bad. God will be with you in it and through it, but go through the bareing you must go for that is how we learn. I realize your heart is crying and your world is falling apart. But you are going to have to trust Christ 100% regardless of the outcome. You are going to have to trust Christ 100% for your children sake, not yours. Ask yourself, what is the greatest gift of love you can give to your children?  It is to make yourself 100% obedient to the Lord Jesus Christ. So. Lord willing let us move torward making that a living reality in your life.

So if you are truly serious and have come to the end of yourself. If you are willing to listen, than take what I say before God to get a confirmation of the truth or falsehood of the words that I will write;

You say you are sick of sinning, repenting, sinning, repenting. Which is good, and is God leading you. This is a good and proper first step. But it must go deeper, you being “sick of it” must turn into “I would rather die than sin again”. Repentance is more than turning from a particular sin, it is turning from self to God. It is a willingness to deny all of yourself. Not just this or that part of you, your very own will. To literally be willing to die, to prevent yourself from sinning.

For consider, how could you be guaranteed to never ever sin again, from this very moment to all eternity?... There is but one way, and that way is to die. If you were to die, sin would lose all it’s power over you. Sin would still be very much alive, but you would be incapable of responding to it, for you were dead. 

This is what our salvation in Christ is. When Jesus died on the cross He took us to death  with Him. As with all things received of from God, they are accessed and received by faith. We are commanded in scripture to; “reckon  ourselves dead onto sin but alive unto God”. It is by being a do’er of this word, that someone is set free from their sins, that they might walk in newness of life. Victory over the old man is for all Christians, but will only be found by those that are willing to give up their lives unto death, and take God at His word. It is by a continual moment by moment reckoning yourself dead unto sin and alive unto God,  that your freedom from sin will be found. After you have learned this by experience, that it is God’s way.  The commandment to reckon yourselves dead, will be the most blessed command ever given.  It will be the joy of your heart to reckon yourself dead to all things, so that you can experience walking in newness of life in all things. Than you will be a do’er of the word that says, “that you might present yourself as a living sacrifice to God, as those that are alive from the dead.” 

Will be praying that if there be any truth in these words, they will find a way into your heart. 

Blessings, 

Much love in Christ, Not me