Ecclesiastical Leader Problem

[HLT]

I have a leader in my church who has been helping me address some historical abuse issues in my life. They are hard and painful for me, and I admittedly return to fear and anger instead of holding to faith. A couple weeks ago this leader was frustrated at me for lacking faith, and he said to me, “I’m done.” Literally those words. When I asked him, he said that he was getting in the way of my relationship with the Savior and he would not counsel me anymore. He has refused to speak to me at all since that time. I am angry and hurt and it feels like God is done with me, too. I am not sure what I am supposed to feel or do.

Edited April 14, 2018 by HLT
Typo

[GandalfTheWise]

10 hours ago, HLT said:

I have a leader in my church who has been helping me address some historical abuse issues in my life. They are hard and painful for me, and I admittedly return to fear and anger instead of holding to faith. A couple weeks ago this leader was frustrated at me for lacking faith, and he said to me, “I’m done.” Literally those words. When I asked him, he said that he was getting in the way of my relationship with the Savior and he would not counsel me anymore. He has refused to speak to me at all since that time. I am angry and hurt and it feels like God is done with me, too. I am not sure what I am supposed to feel or do.

Depending on who you ask, the word faith can mean different things.  For some, it's an intellectual assent to various statements of a particular church or denomination.  To some, it's eliminating doubts.  To some, it's just a warm fuzzy feeling to make us feel better.  To some, it's a mystery that we stir up inside ourselves that causes us to become more spiritual and closer to God.  To some, it's sort of hoping that God is there.  For others, it's an ambiguous term they're not sure what it means but are just aware that something is somehow lacking.

To me, faith is trust and confidence in God Himself because of what I've seen Him do in my life and other people's lives.  Our trust and confidence in God is something that grows over time.  It is not something we try to convince ourselves or eliminate doubts.  It's not a magical force that once we get enough of it that God will start to do things for us; and by extension lack of God doing something is our fault for entertaining the slightest doubt.  Over the decades I've been a Christian, I've seen God do many tangible things in my life and other people's lives.  It is this that has caused my trust and confidence in God to grow.  From the time I gave my life to Jesus Christ when I was 12, I've had a sense of His presence in my life.  This is something more than just having warm fuzzy emotional feelings in church or at special times, but is rather an ongoing sense of God's presence.   Over the decades since, I've had a consistent (albeit at times up and down) spiritual walk where God just simply reveals Himself more and more over time.

Chronic abuse can leave deep spiritual and emotional injuries that are every bit as real as physical injuries.  Few would blame someone with a broken leg for not being able to run, jump, or dance very well.  We know that they will not be able to until their leg is healed.  However, many unintentionally do this to people with spiritual and emotional injuries.  Many mistakenly think that such injuries can just be gotten over by deciding to do so.  My sense is that often those suffering those type of injuries feel isolated and alone.  There are some on this site who've walked down that path and perhaps will share their experiences and wisdom in this thread.

I've known a number of people who have testified of how God's healing work in their life helped them find freedom from the feelings of fear, shame, anger, and other such things that are the aftermath of abuse.  One particular ministry I'm aware of that has helped a handful of friends and relatives of mine with these types of struggles has their website at TransformationPrayer.org (http://www.transformationprayer.org).  The founder's story and description of this ministry can be found at this page on their site (http://www.transformationprayer.org/introduction-to-transformation-prayer-ministry/).  There are probably other people here who can make other recommendations for ministries that have helped them or others.

Hang in there.  You are not alone.  When God reaches out to change us, it can come in many forms and through different people, not just through one particular person.

 

 

 

 

[Adstar]

11 hours ago, HLT said:

I have a leader in my church who has been helping me address some historical abuse issues in my life. They are hard and painful for me, and I admittedly return to fear and anger instead of holding to faith. A couple weeks ago this leader was frustrated at me for lacking faith, and he said to me, “I’m done.” Literally those words. When I asked him, he said that he was getting in the way of my relationship with the Savior and he would not counsel me anymore. He has refused to speak to me at all since that time. I am angry and hurt and it feels like God is done with me, too. I am not sure what I am supposed to feel or do.

Your relationship with God should never be mixed up with the quality of your relationships with human beings.. Humans are. well just humans and they can all reach their breaking point.. It sounds like the leader of your church reached a breaking point..

But God is perfect and thus nothing can break Him..  If you believe Jesus and trust in the atonement He secured for your salvation on the cross then your position with God is secure, you are an adopted son of God.. 

Acknowledge to God in prayer that your anger is wrong.. forgive people who have fail you. Let God deal with people who have wronged you..  We all fall down sometimes because we are humans and still faulty.. Trust in the atonement of the LORD Jesus Christ which covers you.. Spend more time talking directly to God about everything you are going through.. Ask him to take away the pain or give you strength to endure it.. Know that either way on the day of the Resurrection all pain and crying will be finished and you will be transformed into the perfect being we all earnestly wish to be..

May you be blessed greatly HLT...

[Hidden In Him]

11 hours ago, HLT said:

A couple weeks ago this leader was frustrated at me for lacking faith, and he said to me, “I’m done.”

Greetings, and welcome to Worthy!

If you can, please explain why he was frustrated at you for "lacking faith." What made him say that? 

[Justin Adams]

Welcome. I think I know how you feel. Maybe like an outcast - a leper. 

There is good advice here for you. It will affect you for a while. It is so difficult to get over this kind of thing. I commiserate with you and hope you can find some encouragement and get over it soon - perhaps shake the dust off your feet...

I do not know but the Lord does.

[Melissa7]

Hello and Welcome!