my sister - any advice?

[NinaMay]

Hi,

My sister recently told me she's in a relationship with a girl. She used to be a Christian but she's a little lost, she is not 100% sure about this relationship, as she knows that it's not how it's supposed to be. She doesn't want to tell our parents, as they are Christians and they wouldn't approve and would possibly be mad. I promised my sister not to tell them, I want to let her choose the moment whenever she is ready to tell them, if she's ever going to be. My partner says I should tell them, as the Bible talks about big consequences for those who are homosexual. He thinks my parents should talk some sense into her before it's going too far. She's quite stubborn and she probably wouldn't listen, also it would mean that she'd know that somebody didn't keep their promise by telling them. Should I stay quiet and let my sister tell them herself, or should I tell them? Praying's appreciated  

[Willa]

We will pray that she be convicted by God and turn away from her sin to Christ for deliverance.  But all sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman is called fornication.  There will be no fornicators in heaven.   So we all must pray "God have mercy on me, as sinner".   

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, NinaMay said:

Hi,

My sister recently told me she's in a relationship with a girl. She used to be a Christian but she's a little lost, she is not 100% sure about this relationship, as she knows that it's not how it's supposed to be. She doesn't want to tell our parents, as they are Christians and they wouldn't approve and would possibly be mad. I promised my sister not to tell them, I want to let her choose the moment whenever she is ready to tell them, if she's ever going to be. My partner says I should tell them, as the Bible talks about big consequences for those who are homosexual. He thinks my parents should talk some sense into her before it's going too far. She's quite stubborn and she probably wouldn't listen, also it would mean that she'd know that somebody didn't keep their promise by telling them. Should I stay quiet and let my sister tell them herself, or should I tell them? Praying's appreciated  

So neither you or your sister are Christians? You say " my partner" who is that? If you told your sister that the conversation you had between the two of you regarding a homosexual situation would be kept confidential then you should not tell your parents. That is between your sister and your parents. The only prayer that I would have for you and your sister would be that your heart would be opened to Jesus Christ and that you will ask Him into your life to be your Lord and Savior.

[Guest]

33 minutes ago, Willa said:

There will be fornicators in heaven.

I think you meant there will NOT be fornicators in heaven.

1 Corinthians 6:9 ⁹Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men

[BK1110]

If you've given your word not to say anything, then that's that. It's her business to tell them or not.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself? Do you consider yourself a born-again believer in Christ? Is this "partner" your husband?

[GandalfTheWise]

I think an important thing is discernment as to what the real issue is.  Often, many of the things we are most concerned about in ourselves and other people are *symptoms* of a deeper cause.  For example (hypothetical case only, I'm not suggesting this is actually what is happening), if your sister is angry and frustrated and rebellious towards your parents and the church, this is going to result in a lot of different behaviors that are not good.  If the root issue is anger and bitterness, getting her out of the current relationship is damage control and isn't dealing with the real problem.  More issues would continue to emerge in the future.  Continuing on in the hypothetical case, is this just rebellion and stubbornness gone too far, or was your sister hurt in some way by your parents or the church?  In that case, apologies, reconciliation, and forgiveness may be needed for healing and change to occur.   I'm not suggesting that is the actual case though I've seen that in a few people.  I'm just trying to generate food for thought as to if this relationship is indeed the main issue or if there is something deeper that God wants to work on.

When something is going on with someone, I prayerfully try to discern what the real issue is that God wants to deal with at present.  I then focus my prayers and interactions with that person on addressing that deeper issue.   I've at times seen that the most obvious stuff we are most concerned with are symptoms rather than root causes.  Of course, that's not to say we don't try to minimize consequences of what's going on, but we need to focus on what God's priority is for change in someone.   If we do not deal with the root issue, we're going to see a range of different problems keep emerging and we end up fighting a bunch of different battles without ever fixing the real problem.  Sometimes what we see is the real issue; sometimes not.

In this case, the main issue might be the relationship itself, or the relationship might just be a symptom of some deeper spiritual battle going on inside your sister.