Am I Being Old Fashioned.....or Godly

[MorningGlory]

The bible tells wives to submit to their husbands: Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. This does not mean that the husband gets to lord it over the wife in a dominating manner. What it means is that just as Jesus submited to His Father in love and trust in His Father so wives should submit to their husband in the same manner. The wife must love her husband and be willing to sacrifice all for him. Now if the husband is not being the Godly head of the house then the wife has every right to stand up and say that what he is doing is wrong. And also to correct Him in love and gentleness - just as the husband can with the wife.

Now the piece that often gets forgotten here is that God has given instructions to the husband to: Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. Now this tells the husbands that they have to love their wives just as Jesus loved the church. How did Jesus love the church? He came as a servant to show the church the truth and then to die for the church and He did it out of love for the church. This then is how a husband loves their wife. The husband must love his wife and be willing to sacrifice all for her.

What these verses show us is that the relationship is about the husband putting the wife first and thinking of her well being and happiness first before his own and the wife putting the husband first and thinking of his well being and happiness first and putting it before her own. And to complete the marriage God should be the head over both. In a Godly marriage there is no one person trying to be the dominant lord over the other but all are in submission as God wants to Him and each other.

That's my thoughts on it anyway fwiw.

I can't add or take away from anything you wrote, Nyoka. Great post!

[Nyoka]

I can't add or take away from anything you wrote, Nyoka. Great post!

Ty. My husband I learnt this after many problems in our marriage and now we live this out everyday and our marriage is so much better and stronger. Yes we do still have the odd problem but my husband is truly head of myself and our children but I am very much his helper and the other half of himself and together we let God rule over us and guide us in our marriage. This has made our marriage a marriage beyond compare.

[enoob57]

There are deeper things to be considered... It is the created aspect that God appointed all things in an order for it was to His good pleasure to make it so! Now when that order is changed there can no longer be lasting pleasure found. Because of sin we have diverged into a better and worse type thinking or preferred more and or less reasoning, so that, to be less is undesirable and more is always better. this is so ingrained into our minds by the daily grind of the system we are in. This world system manipulates our reasoning by repetition and down right force ... It is this indoctrination so permeated within our reason many do not even question if it is right or wrong but only that's the way it is! The order of creation- God created man for fellowship in relational living with Himself and woman for the man as a chance for the man to repeat what was learned from God to Adam now Adam to Eve. Now right off the bat we say well relationship with God is much more than Eve with Adam but not so! For it does not matter how the order is set up the fullness unto God is still accomplished through what ever order God ordains. This is seen in His Son

Php 2:5-8

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

NASU

it would solve all marriage problems if this heart could be maintained within both the man and the woman and a rich bond of dedication to the Lord but because of sin all will have trouble for we slip in and out of this true reality to that of this worlds.. Praise God we gain victory in Christ Who did perfectly this awesome mark of God upon all lives now that believe and accept this truth... Love, Steven

[MorningGlory]

There are deeper things to be considered... It is the created aspect that God appointed all things in an order for it was to His good pleasure to make it so! Now when that order is changed there can no longer be lasting pleasure found. Because of sin we have diverged into a better and worse type thinking or preferred more and or less reasoning, so that, to be less is undesirable and more is always better. this is so ingrained into our minds by the daily grind of the system we are in. This world system manipulates our reasoning by repetition and down right force ... It is this indoctrination so permeated within our reason many do not even question if it is right or wrong but only that's the way it is! The order of creation- God created man for fellowship in relational living with Himself and woman for the man as a chance for the man to repeat what was learned from God to Adam now Adam to Eve. Now right off the bat we say well relationship with God is much more than Eve with Adam but not so! For it does not matter how the order is set up the fullness unto God is still accomplished through what ever order God ordains. This is seen in His Son

Php 2:5-8

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

NASU

it would solve all marriage problems if this heart could be maintained within both the man and the woman and a rich bond of dedication to the Lord but because of sin all will have trouble for we slip in and out of this true reality to that of this worlds.. Praise God we gain victory in Christ Who did perfectly this awesome mark of God upon all lives now that believe and accept this truth... Love, Steven

[Openly Curious]

name='HisMindinme' timestamp='1327164930' post='1762358'

I'm just wondering if maybe the increase of people having children out of wedlock may have something to do with the shift of male and female roles.

Hi, I don't think it's so much a shift of the male female roles that's causing the increase of children being born out of wedlock. It's more of a thing of not being bound to the law legally. In this type thinking there comes no responsibility in the relationship while living together outside of marriage. If one wants to leave the relationship there are no ties no divorce process, no alimony. etc., just pack up and go. Those living in fornication have no "till death do us part" mentality or commitment in the relationship. The thing is about those who are living in fornication outside of marriage have the samethings taking place that goes on inside of lawful marriage and one of those things are childbirth hence children being born out of wedlock. The twisted thinking is if I get a marriage liscense get married committing yourself to one person for life legally coming up under the law of the land then they will somehow lose their independence or freedom but it's just the opposite. The law protects those who are living within a marriage from any abuse of anykind that might take place. But if they don't get married then they can do as they please without any repercusion by law they are not legally bound if they destroy the persons life their in fornication with. Those in fornication having sex outside of marriage I personally believe is the leading cause of children being born out of wedlock rather than the shift of the male and female roles.

[He giveth more grace]

1 Timothy 2

I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

⁹ In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

¹⁰ But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

¹¹ Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

¹² But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

¹³ For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

¹⁴ And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. ¹⁵ Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Take from this what the Holy Spirit gives you, but don't receive anything that is from humans unless they speak the truth.

[Fearfully1derfullyMade]

name='HisMindinme' timestamp='1327164930' post='1762358'

I'm just wondering if maybe the increase of people having children out of wedlock may have something to do with the shift of male and female roles.

Hi, I don't think it's so much a shift of the male female roles that's causing the increase of children being born out of wedlock. It's more of a thing of not being bound to the law legally. In this type thinking there comes no responsibility in the relationship while living together outside of marriage. If one wants to leave the relationship there are no ties no divorce process, no alimony. etc., just pack up and go. Those living in fornication have no "till death do us part" mentality or commitment in the relationship. The thing is about those who are living in fornication outside of marriage have the samethings taking place that goes on inside of lawful marriage and one of those things are childbirth hence children being born out of wedlock. The twisted thinking is if I get a marriage liscense get married committing yourself to one person for life legally coming up under the law of the land then they will somehow lose their independence or freedom but it's just the opposite. The law protects those who are living within a marriage from any abuse of anykind that might take place. But if they don't get married then they can do as they please without any repercusion by law they are not legally bound if they destroy the persons life their in fornication with. Those in fornication having sex outside of marriage I personally believe is the leading cause of children being born out of wedlock rather than the shift of the male and female roles.

In addition to what you said, I think that a lot of people, both Christians and Non-Christians alike are scared of marriage due to the significant increase of divorce.

Now, I'm happily single for the moment, but even dating has changed drastically. I'm not male bashing or anything, but some men just aren't maning up imo. Is chivalry dead?

What happened to opening doors for a lady, paying for dates( which imo is worth meeting halfway) for if he's a good man.

But, nowadays,some men are looking for someone to be their mother instead of their girlfriend/spouse.

I understand that any type of relationship should be an equal partnership, but there should be a certain amount of responsibilty for all parties involved. However, when it comes to male/female relationships, it seems like some Christians are following society instead of following God.

Yes, I know that we are human and that no one is perfect or exempt from sin, but in this day and age we all definitely need the incorruptible power of God through the Holy Spirit and the finished work Christ has already done, working in us. Without Him we are all doomed for self-destruction.

I am so thankful for God's love, compassion, grace and mercy towards us.

Have a Blessed Day Everyone,

Love and Peace

[winsomebulldog]

Well, I suggest that the greatest hindrance to "right" relations between men and women is the selfishness of the men and women involved. Not only are many too selfish to put their spouses (or anyone else) before themselves, they are so selfish that they refuse to let God lead them to the person who would be the right potential spouse for them. Everyone wants what they want, when they want it. We must always start with God and go from there. If we'll do that, all the rest - including a marriage that works the way God intended for it to - will follow.

[nebula]

I'm not male bashing or anything, but some men just aren't maning up imo. Is chivalry dead?

What happened to opening doors for a lady, paying for dates( which imo is worth meeting halfway) for if he's a good man.

But, nowadays,some men are looking for someone to be their mother instead of their girlfriend/spouse.

This brings up some good points for discussion.

Here's one angle to the problem:

I'm reading a book right now called Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. The focus of his book is on the male heart, but women can glean a lot from it as well.

One of the problem with men today is that they were raised to be more like women. God designed men to be warriors, yet our society wants men to be "nice". (Just one of many expressions of the situation.)

While chauvinism has been a serious problem, a corruption of the male spirit God designed, the killing of that spirit is not the godly way to draw out the loving spirit of the man. The man still needs to be free to be "wild at heart."

When a man's manhood is not affirmed by his parents, especially from his father, he spends his life seeking his manhood, more often in corrupt ways than godly ways - which is why the drinking and porn addiction and whatnot are such strong hooks in men.

Granted, there are other psychological approaches to what's going on with men, but this stands out because the author distinguishes between what men need vs what women need, and we can't counsel men the same as women to heal their hearts.

Thoughts?

[oldzimm]

Praise the Lord everyone,

Based on what I have been taught and have observed, I believe that the man is to be the head of the household.

In modern society, it seems that the roles have somewhat been reversed. Am I being old fashioned? Is this a secular change or is it also in the Body of Christ? What does WCF have to say about this topic?

I look forward to hearing from as many of you as possible.

Thanks for reading this post

You are not being old fashion, the family unit is structured by God's rule of order and as God is the head of the Holy Trinity, so is man the head of the family.

Think of it this way, two cars running side by side can't possibly fit at the same time on the one lane bridge that is ahead of them. One of those cars must take the lead role or there will be a disaster, God chose who will take that lead role in the family.

HOWEVER as you state, we do live in a modern society and pending on the family situation, I think functions in the family unit may change. With both the man and woman working to make ends meet or the woman works and the man could be a Mr. Mom. The man is still the head of the family and is held accountable to God on family matters.