Deepblue

Thanks guys. I am going to go for it, scratch and save with all I have in me. Prayers needed. FresnoJoe, thanks for the scripture, and God can definitely sling doors open. I want this...very much.

Hey guys, I know I don't come on here much anymore, but I am looking to different places for a little input. There's a chance that I may be getting a hook-up with a new job. I make minimum wage now ($7.25 an hour), but with this new job I may be starting out at $10 an hour. I am a little afraid of leaving my three and a half year position though, but sometimes we need to take chances. Besides, I really want to do some studying abroad when I transfer to Winthrop University in January of 2012. That brings up my next problem. I seriously want to study abroad in Spain. The total cost of the trip (not including tuition, meals, and room and board that student loans and financial aid will take care of) will cost a little over $4k. This new job will help me muster up the money before year's end, but if I go live in Spain for four months for educational purposes, I will be coming back unemployed. I really wish I could go to school and not worry about working, but I need to have some sort of income. It's a dream of mine to travel and study abroad, and chances like this may not come again.

Yes, you are right about people not having no job at all. I sometimes let my frustrations get the best of me, but I am thankful for my job. I've had it for three years now and would not have made it without it. Thanks Joyful.

My uncle has always been this way with money. Last year he wanted to stay in a hotel room near us and practically begged my mom for $140. He said, "Sis, you know I would not lie to you, and I promise you I will pay you back." My mom caved and gave him the money and he never did pay it back. I remember when I was a kid he would ask me to come stay with him and he would promise to take me to a game or race. Instead, he made me clean his yard all day for about twenty dollars, and when I was done he said, "I'm gonna take you out to eat." So with my twenty bucks I was excited to maybe buy a toy or game, but he told me I had to buy myself a fifteen dollar steak dinner that I did not want. And when he does help financially, he says things like, "There, now I have already given you such and such." Today he sat on the couch with a huge bundle of twenty dollar bills. As he was flipping through them he said, "PFTTT, I hardly have any money now. I guess that's how things go!" I was very irritate at that. Also, he stayed at our house for three months straight. He had no money at the time and pawned cigarettes from my mom and ate our food. We understood that he had no money, and we helped him. I love my uncle because he's my uncle. But he is so manipulative and controlling. And as far as me being younger and telling him something, I can understand your point, but at the same time I am usually the mediator of this family, and I try to always point the situation in a way that is Biblically sound. So my words should not be canceled because of my age, but if they are true, regardless of my age, they should consider what I am saying. And there is rarely a situation where my family refutes me if it is a word from God. That said, I did lose my temper a little with him and it probably was not pleasing to God. I did ask my uncle forgiveness though. I am praying that God help me not be so annoyed at him.

My uncle (my mom's brother) is living with us at the moment. He had bladder cancer but survived it after his bladder was taken out. He lost pretty much everything he had and had a nervous breakdown, but he is better now. He is now drawing unemployment benefits up to $300 a week. My mom and I work for minimum wage and due to inclement weather the past few weeks, our company told us we could not work and would not get paid for it. We have been in a financial hole and my uncle who is living on us, using the power, heat, water, and refrigerator like the rest of us is doing little to contribute. He is also getting about two thousand dollars in taxes soon. Our phone was cut off, our cable was cut off, internet cut off, and now the power is in danger of being cut off. And he is getting thousands per month. I confronted him about it and got into a bad argument with him and he said "Well fine, I'll make sure I get out of here soon." I can't even afford to get to college and back because I don't have the gas money. He loaned me twenty bucks, but I have to pay him back as soon as I get my puny little excuse for a check. And he said he would not give me any money if I did not pay it back. Why can't he see that he is the one with the most money right now and he doesn't seem to care what happens to his family around him? Am I expecting too much of him? I feel bad that I cannot contribute more! I make a lousy $7.25 an hour working only part time, and most of that goes to gas for traveling 30 miles to school and back EVERYDAY! Our financial situation has been particularly bad the last few weeks, but hopefully things will start looking up. Also, we may be in danger of being evicted. Prayer needed! Thanks guys. -Daniel

I would stay away from dating sites and online advice in general, unless you know for sure it is Biblically sound. Worthyboards is actually the only place I ask for any sort of advice online, and I rarely seek advice from anyone. We have the capacity to start believing some of these things if we constantly see it iterated and reiterated, even if we claim that we do not stand for it or believe it. These sort of things have a way of infesting our hearts and minds, potentially smearing our perceptions. As for the nice guy thing, no female would want a pushover, but hopefully a Godly woman who has any standard would want someone who would treat her as God would want, that is: loving, caring, bold, protective, providing, spiritually leading, etc.

See guys, she was the one that was not that open. Maybe it was fear that kept her from opening up. I wanted to be open with her. When I was she would usually just smile or giggle. When I proposed the break-up she said, "Yeah, I think we should just move on." So I am battling out in my mind if she was ever really interested in the first place. There were times when it seemed she really really was and times when it seemed like I did not matter to her whatsoever. I don't think I will hunt her down at the college or anything. I am not sure where to find her at any given time anyways. If I have an encounter with her, I will try to speak with her. Or who knows, I may not be able to hold back and end up finding her anyways. Actually, I don't know what action or lack of action to take. I guess I should stick with what Nebula said. But what if God wants me to make a move? What if He doesn't! There's no clarity here! Confusion. Confusion. Confusion.

Yes, I agree with you Nebula. I have prayed and asked the Lord to comfort any pain I may have caused her. Maybe I am feeling more guilt than anything else right now. And of course, I am hoping I did not butcher something that could have been great. I feel like I want to apologize to her. But I don't know if taking any action at all is right at this moment. If the Lord allows us to cross paths somehow for a reason, I pray He will give me the words to say. If not, then that's o.k. too.

It just seemed as if she was not as interested. She suddenly became busy all the time to do anything or see me. I took it as a hint that she wanted to move on, so I made the move and ended it. It's just as of late that I am regretting it-probably because I just started back at school which is where we did a lot of studying/spending time. If she is over me I don't see why she is still purposely ignoring me and acting upset? I don't know, maybe her facial expression is what made me feel bad. Girl looks sad or something.

I actually Facebooked her a message telling her I would like to re-enter her life even if it means just being friends, and she just ignored it. I think it's her way of getting back at me. I might go speak to her if I see her in school again. At worse she'll ignore me.

So I have been split from my girlfriend for over a month now, but it seems like I regret the decision more with each passing day. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if I did not attend the same college as she. I want so badly to find her and try to make amends. I saw her today and I know she saw me from a distance, but she pretended that she did not see me. There is something in her eyes that looks like hurt, emptiness, or depression. I sure hope I was not the main culprit in bringing that about. If so, I feel even worse about it. I have been praying that I can get to speak to her again, and I have had some recent encounters with her mother who works at the college, but I haven't asked her how her daughter was doing. Ugh, it's really starting to pain me now. I felt light as a feather and so sure that I made the right decision when I split, but now I realize some of her great qualities that I did not fully appreciate before. So, this is really a prayer request more than anything else. A request to be able to move on if it is God's will, or a request to reunite with her if that is His will. I want to let go of this because it is starting to really hurt. At the same time, the fact that it hurts makes me think I may have made mistake.

We all struggle with sin and even fall from time to time, but as wyguy said, scripture tells us to examine ourselves. Read 1John. Remember that Jesus told us that a tree is known by its fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. We can have a good set of morals, even a conviction of sin, and even an intellectual knowledge of scripture and a belief in Jesus. I have to examine myself a lot. And I often find myself in tears before God. But as I have grown, I just cannot tolerate or stand in sin without becoming utterly confused and miserable. A good indication of a saved person is that the Holy Spirit will work in them, and God will draw them back unto the narrow path. A lost person will only continue to stumble, and will never have victory over temptation in their life. We must examine ourselves and make sure we are saved.

I called her tonight and told her that I am going to back up from her some and cool things off. I told her that I want to work on being a great friend, and then we will see what it develops into. I believe that I rushed into this relationship, and in ways, have made it my idol. I want to surrender to God. She told me that she doesn't believe a relationship is something to worry or be serious about. I told her that it was serious to me. When two people of the opposite sex are putting themselves out there, how is it not serious to some extent? I don't think God intended for two people of the opposite sex to simply play "The Dating Game" and then it not progress into anything else. I told her that she and I seem to be on different pages. I encouraged her to pray and consider what she wants in a relationship and how it contrasts to what I want in one. I told her to pray, consult her family and friends. She said she is fine with us cooling things down-though we weren't moving at an extremely fast pace anyways. Huh, I feel like I said everything about breaking up without actually breaking up. I don't know where to take this next. I guess only time will tell. I told her that perhaps she is not as serious about this sort of thing as I am, and that perhaps we need to examine if this is something God wants. If it is, then the Lord will find a way to work through this, if not, I hope that he give us the strength to part in peace.

I think she's a great girl. Sometimes I overreact maybe. We usually go out together once a week, and speak to one another on the phone every other day. We are taking it slowly because we both agreed to a slow and steady relationship. We are spending some time together this Saturday. Maybe we can have some good discussion then. I am all the while praying for clarity and guidance in this.

I understand that, but no two people are ever in the same place at the same time when it comes to their walk with God. Perhaps I just need to do more on my part. I believe that the male should be the spiritual leader in the relationship. When I was 18, I was very very immature in my walk, but I have learned soooo much since then, and I am completely different. I feel like I would be cheating her if I just ditched her without trying to be a better spiritual leader. I do think that if I gave it my all, and tried my hardest to make God the center, but she would not agree to it, then I can see myself moving on, definitely. But she is a Christian, one of the kindest people I have met, and actually more mature than most her age. She keeps to herself, has great parents, and never misses a Sunday in Church. It seems like all the pieces are here, but I still feel like something is off.